Love Knot
by Lolita Luv
Summary: Is it a case of cold feet? Maybe, but Chuck very much doubts it. Though it may not be as easy as he'd hoped to get what he really wants.
1. Too Much Too Fast

The clock flashed it's bright red numbers - over and over. One in the morning. Great. It was quiet as he lay there, the only sound was Sarah sleeping beside him. Mental groan. Carefully, he climbed out of bed and pulled on his boxers. Damn that clock. It taunted him. Every night or rather early morning, blinking as he lay there trying to to clear his thoughts. The wedding was still in planning stages. Hell he was getting married to Sarah. She was beautiful and wonderful. Brown eyes watched her sleep.

1:02. Two slow minutes as he smiled. Shook his head and left the room. Plopped down on the couch in the midst of the darkened living room. The only light was coming from the night outside the open curtains on the windows. Hand lifted and ran through his hair before rubbing over his eyes and face. A sigh. Screw it. He picked up his phone and dialed.

"Yeah, what?" came the gravelly tones on the other end.

"Hello, to you too, Casey." Chuck replied with bland laughter.

"It's one in the morning, Bartowski, what do you want?" Casey sounded annoyed. But then, what else was new?

"I can't sleep I need to talk to someone."

"Talk to Sarah and let me go back to sleep."

Chuck fell silent and just listened to John Casey seeth through the phone, yes, his annoyance was nearly audiable to the kid who'd known him now for 3 years.

Casey growled, "Fine, come over and talk, the sooner you get here and finish your talking the sooner I can get back to sleep." The phone slammed in Chuck's ear.

A few minutes later found Chuck standing outside John Casey's apartment. Damn it was cold out tonight. Then again he was wearing only a tshirt and his boxers with slippers, probably not the best idea, but Casey could be impatient so Chuck figured the better idea was to get over quickly before hewent back to sleep.

The door opened and the older agent gave him a glare.

"This better be damn important, get in here you're letting all the heat out." he growled.

Chuck stepped in and the door slammed closed behind him, all locks falling into place. The younger looked nervous. Then again, everyone was nervous around Casey so it wasn't really that strange.

"Make yourself at home. Wanna beer?" He asked simply out of politeness.

"No thanks." Chuck smiled and cleared his throat and took a seat on the couch.

"Suit yourself." Casey pulled a beer from the fridge and popped the top. Then moved into the living room and took a seat across from Chuck.

He noticed the odd look he was getting from the other and realized that it was the rubber ducks dressed as Star Wars characters that decorated his boxers that Casey found strange. Chuck laughed and shifted. Cleared his throat.

"Ooh, um, these where a gift from Sarah."

It was then that Chuck realized Casey was wearing only a pair of black silk PJ bottoms and sat across from him shirtless. All beautiful muscles and skin. _Hot skin. Oh, God, stop that_. Mentally, he shook his head and pulled his gaze away from the gorgeous agent and down to the floor.

"So, what the hell's so important you woke me up in the middle of the night, Bartowski?" Casey growled impatiently.

Chuck ran his fingers through his hair nervously. Shifted in his seat and refused to look up at the other.

"I... it's... hard to explain." he cleared his throat.

"Bartowski, you are so full of shit, you should be sleeping the sleep of the dead, of a perfectly contented man. You have everything. You're a CIA agent, have a beautiful fiance..."

Chuck interrupted with a loud laugh, his gaze darting back and forth. "I'm sorry Casey, I... I didn't mean to interrupt... I just... I know I should feel lucky as hell to be with a woman like Sarah..."

"What do you mean _should_, Bartowski?" Casey's eyes narrowed.

A deep breath, a deep sigh and he stood up and began to pace. He felt John's eyes on him with every step.

"I can't love Sarah... Not... the way ... I mean. Fuck. I can't love Sarah, not when I'm in love with someone else!" Chuck blurted, still pacing.

Casey set aside his untouched beer and got to his feet, grabbed Chuck by the shoulder with a low dangerous growl. His eyes dark, scowl on his face.

"What do you mean you're in love with someone else?" he spat. "You don't know anybody else." head tiled, fingers digging hard into the other's shoulder.

Chuck winced and tried in vain to pull away from the menacing man before him. Finally, gaze lifted, forced himself to feel courage he didn't have and met the gaze of John Casey. His own eyes sad.

"I... I love..." he sighed, looked away and then back at him again. "I love you, John."

It was the first time Chuck had ever called him anything other than Casey and to be honest John wasn't sure how to handle that. Never mind the confession that had just come spewing from the nerd's mouth. His hand fell away from Chuck's shoulder and he took a step back, his gaze never straying from the other.

"You love me?" his head shook. "What the hell, Bartowski?"

His hands clenched into fists at his side and he sighed. Maybe he was imagining this whole thing. He was still asleep in his bed... alone and dreaming this whole horrific nightmare.

"I love you, John Casey." Chuck's voice shook.

For a moment Casey almost felt guilty for making the other feel so nervous. Almost. Instead, he let a smile crack his lips and he laughed, playing it off as some joke. However, when Chuck took a step forward, John knew that it wasn't a joke as he'd hoped. Clearing his throat he took a step back. Ignoring the look of hurt that flashed over Chuck's face. No. The nerd wasn't going to play sad puppy and get his way.

"John." Chuck whispered.

The older agent closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. It had been a long time since someone had spoken his name that way. No. No. No. His eyes opened, dark and cold. He moved to the door and opened it.

"Get the fuck out."

Chuck winced and Casey said nothing more. Just slammed the door once the other had left his apartment. The confession had left him reeling and trying to sort things out in his head. What the hell? Where had he missed the sudden change from friends to well... not fucking friends. Hell, for that matter when had they even become friends? A growl as he picked up the untouched open beer and dumped it into the kitchen sink before stomping off to his room to try and get back to sleep.

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><p><strong> Chapter 2 to follow very soon. Hope y'all enjoy!<strong>


	2. Let's Start Over

_Ever notice how Love knots are shaped a bit like triangles? Well, that's the mess he'd gotten himself into..._

_'Hi, my name's Chuck and here's a few things you may need to know about me:_

_I'm a C.I.A agent. I'm engaged to Sarah Walker. My best friend is Morgan Grimes. I work at the Buy More. I'm the Intersect. I'm engaged to Sarah walker... wait that was already mentioned. Fine... I love Star Wars and video games. I'm in Love with Agent John Casey._.. ' His thoughts stopped there and he leaned against his door as he fished his key from his boxer's pocket.

Yes, that's right, he was in love with John Casey. Big, bad, terrifying John Casey. Chuck wasn't entirely sure when he first realized it. Or if it only dawned on him standing in Casey's apartment seeing him half naked. He sighed. The key unlocking the door sounded too loud to him as it did it's job and he stepped inside, tossing it onto the kitchen counter. What the hell was he supposed to do now? He doubted John would ever be able to look at him again. Then again, this was John Casey, the man with all the training and no doubt the man would use that to pretend this whole conversation never happened.

The clock on the VCR/DVD player blinked it was only 1:15 in the morning. Only 15 minutes? It had seemed so much longer than that. Chuck moved into the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels, unopened and untouched and took a seat on the couch in the living room. Sprawled out, one leg up on the cushions, the other was hanging over the edge, toes barely brushing the floor, bottle of Jack between his legs. Head resting on the arm of the couch. Cell phone on the table next to him. Maybe Casey would call. Maybe? A wry smile curled Chuck's lips. He knew the chances of that were next to nothing. No... lower than nothing. Head tilted back, a bit so his gaze could watch the door. Lot of good it would do. Fingers wound around the neck of the bottle.

_Another shot of whiskey, _

_Can't stop looking at the door._

_Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before._

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind._

_For me it happens all the time._

_It's a quarter after one,_

_I'm a little drunk and I need you now._

_I said I wouldn't call,_

_But, I've lost all control _

_And I need you now._

"Bartowski!"

Chuck jumped eyes opened and there stood John glaring at him. Wow, had he really been so lost in his own thoughts he missed the big man storming through the door. He sat up slightly, balancing on his free hand.

"I uh... " cleared his throat. "Yeah, Casey?"

The other agent groaned and rolled his eyes. "Stop lookin' at me like a love sick school girl, Bartowski." His voice was low. Gaze fell on the bottle of Jack that Chuck held onto. Arched a brow. "Whiskey, really?"

"Ooh, um no... I don't ... really, that is to say... I ... no."

He placed the bottle on the table and stood up quickly, only to get his heel caught just under the couch, the pain sent him back to seated position quickly with a groan. He didn't miss the shake of Casey's head and another roll of his eyes.

"W-what do you want, Casey?"

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><p><strong>Sorry this chapter's so short, but I wanted to get this part up at least. Hope to keep y'all comin' back.<strong>

**"Need You Now" - Lady Antebellum**


	3. NOTE FROM AUTHOR

_**Wow. Has it really been two years since I first published this? Time sure flies. I'm terribly sorry for the LONG delay. I lost the inspiration for the story and had hoped to get it back sooner rather than later. Once more, I'm sorry for the extended wait.**_  
><em><em>

_**However... for those still interested in what happens - you'll be happy to know that I am currently working on the next chapter. Possibly the next TWO. It won't be another two years, I promise. **_

_**So, stay tuned for the next chapter!**_


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